My Painful, Corny Awakening Part 6: Stepping Up and Moving On

The past 4 months were rough. I am in disbelief that it was such a short span of time, because it seemed to have dragged on forever.. but, alas, I have made it to where I am now, and I am ecstatic.

Through every trial and tribulation that I have faced during these past months – my health diminishing, detoxing, researching food allergies relentlessly, facing adversity in the medical field and within my social circle, and struggling with my manual-labor-heavy business – all I could think about through every single second of it was how badly I needed a change. I needed to start over. Our family had to have a fresh start if we were going to survive, and our misery in our situation could only be remedied by picking ourselves up and literally moving on. So we did.

I didn’t want to leave my family. My mom and sister, and their families are all that I have had keeping me anchored in Florida for the past 18 years. As for my career as a massage therapist, I was merely treading water to make it work for the time being. We had a great life! We lived in a beautiful house, in a beautiful, historic, walking-friendly neighborhood with giant, sprawling Spanish moss covered live oak trees, and for many years it was perfect. But we weren’t going anywhere. As long as I was there, I would never be able to walk away from the career that I had spent 10 years building. I loved my clients, and I would not be able to leave them hanging while still being in the area.

The physical part of the job was more than I could handle. My body did not want to do it anymore, and it was becoming pure agony to use my hands so much. Washing my own hands after giving even one massage was almost unbearable. I had to leave. It was time.

My husband’s family is from the central New York region, and it was always a possibility that we would end up living near them. If it were up to my husband, we would have moved a long time ago! And I don’t blame him for loving it so much. There is something to be said about sprawling pastures and rolling hillsides, small, historic villages filled to the brim with small-town charm, smaller schools with a higher rated education system than Florida, and all of the outdoor wonders that go along with all 4 seasons. It is a wonderland for a child to grow up in. I want all of that for my son, so of course, it was an easy decision as to where we would be moving.

Although we have only been here almost 3 weeks, it is already apparent that this is the best decision that we could have possibly made. I have a newfound sense of freedom that I can’t quite put into words… other than it is the most wondrous, marvelous feeling I have ever had. The sky is the limit, I have so much to offer, and I now have created the space to design the life that I want for myself and my family. How lucky are we?

My days have gone from constantly fretting over how I was going to make it through the day without having a breakdown, to being filled with moments of serene beauty, times of quiet stillness that allow me to reflect on how fortunate I am,  hours of smiling and laughing with our son, and time to focus on the things that truly matter to me. I finally feel like I have created the space to do what I feel will make a difference in our lives and for the greater good of others. How wonderful is that? I never would have thought it would be this easy, and I am ever so grateful every moment of every day that we are fortunate enough to have family willing to help us along on this journey.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we can not change, so we have to look to change ourselves and create a new, better self that we can live with. And sometimes, all you need is a fresh start.


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