Somedays, I feel great. I can go all day long without a single feeling of irritation toward my somewhat new corn intolerant life. But others? Not so much. Those days make me feel lost and completely overwhelmed in a giant sea of stupid, miserable corn. The very bane of my existence. Ugh. Corn.
I try to not think about it. It is what it is, right? I am allergic to it, so therefore I should just stay away from it. But…how? Should I just stay in my house 24/7? Only order things that can be delivered to my doorstep? I think not. I have to live life just like everyone else does. I love life! I love to go outdoors and enjoy things like hiking, shopping, seeing a movie, or going to festivals. But, I have an added layer of stress involved with every single one of these activities – what in the world am I going to eat, and what do I need to bring with me in order to enjoy myself in the case that my blood sugar hits rock bottom and I suddenly feel like my stomach is eating itself?
I am not allowed to be like everyone else, and just grab a quick bite at a restaurant, or indulge in some of those wonderful treats that you find at various types of festivals. There is a very high chance that I can’t touch a single bit of anything that is offered out there… no matter how much I want to. And trust me, I do. You know what I REALLY want? Nachos. Real nachos. Or a pulled pork sandwich from a restaurant on real bread. No. Nachos. I want those. You have no idea how badly I am drooling over this picture right now.
But, alas, I shall have to make some on fake chips, with super, stupid-expensive ingredients. And wash them down with water.
When I have days like these, I just have to remind myself to breathe…and remember that this is my story, and without the corn intolerance, I would not be who I am or where I am today. I most definitely would not be sitting here, typing all of these words for your eyes to read, if it were not for my suffering of this wretched corn allergy. And, you know? I am ok with that. I am thrilled that I have found purpose in my life, and that to me, is worth way more than a plate of nachos.
I have to remember that it is ok that I can’t be like everyone else, and try to feel special, instead of feeling like an outcast. I have to remember that I really am not the only one, and that I am never alone in my struggle. And I have to remember that I am alive, I have so much else to be thankful for, and that the love of food, in the end, does not matter one bit.
So, although we may all have moments of feeling lost and completely alone in our struggles, we have to remember that it is through those struggles that we learn about life and about who we really are – and that in itself is beautiful. So what if I went to a Fall Festival today and didn’t get to sample a single one of the delightful festival treats that were practically yelling my name from all directions? I got to walk through that festival, and I got to spend time with my family, I got to giggle with my little boy, and it inspired me to write a blog post. I would have to say, that is a good day after all, despite my initial frustrations. Life is very good, y’all. Very good.